About Me
My name is Hana. Pronounced (hah-nah) and not to be confused with the Hebrew name Hannah. We can get into the discussion of names later. I am a thirty-something, mixed-race woman. Born to a Caucasian-Catholic mother from the frozen tundra of North Dakota and an Indian-Muslim father from Hyderabad, India. One is highly educated, and the other is not. One is artistic, while the other cares more about statistics and the economy. Personality, cultural, and religious differences are worlds apart. Then came me. A symbol of how two worlds could come together to create a little human who could grow into herself with the best of both worlds. But the best-laid plans often have detours. Disagreements began, the house started to divide, and eventually, I became a child of divorce.
At age 5, I moved to Fargo, North Dakota with my mother to be close to her family. A family that I am beyond lucky to have grown up with. However, I grew up as the only person of color in my family, in my classroom, and basically any public outing I attended. Although I had a supportive family, it was and still is something they can't understand. I kept quiet. I hated being mixed-race and was constantly trying so hard to blend in.
As an adult, I am proud to be mixed. But don't let me fool you. Past traumas still haunt me, and I still face new ones on a regular basis. I often look to online platforms for a story like mine or a quote that resonates with me to help me process, but it is so hard to find something that feels relatable. So, I've created Mixed Messages for all the mixed babies out there in hopes that my experiences and lessons remind you that you are not alone.
P.S. I am not a writer nor do I claim to be one. If you find a typo...please carry on. :)